Being picky isn’t the problem, it’s the symptom.
The problem is, we have expectations. The problem is, we are afraid of taking risks, being wrong, looking foolish and getting hurt. The problem is, we are addicted to the identity of a person of heroic integrity who holds impossibly high standards for themselves and others. The problem is, we romanticize the fairytale of finding the ideal partner or the perfect job that’s going to change everything and complete our life and make us whole.
Perhaps our pickiness is a sign that some letting go may be in order.
Perhaps maintaining this posture in a contracted state of fear so we’re never taken by surprise is no longer serving our goals.
A mentor of mine once told me that being religious about how you make your money is the quickest way to go out of business. That was a powerful insight for me as an entrepreneur, but also for my life as a whole.
It challenged me to avail myself of every opportunity to create value for others, even if it was out of my comfort zone. It invited me to move in direction of being more open to all kinds of new relationships, even if they didn’t satisfy all seventeen of the bullet points on my list of desirable human attributes.
Look, each of us remakes ourselves as we grow and as the world changes. Each of us evolves our criteria for what we find attractive and meaningful as we evolve ourselves. And so, we say yes to life, even though we know it will devour us.
Because those yeses, imperfect and scary as they may be, are our currency for fulfillment. They’re like helium. And they will translate into positives, if we only let them.
Being picky, it tends to makes our lives smaller and heavier.
LET ME ASK YA THIS…
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